50 Favorite People | No Particular Order
——— 20. Ian Joseph Somerhalder - American Actor and Model
I started reading this ready to give a big FUCK YOU to someone after reading it.
I ended up tearing up while thinking of someone else. :)
Damn. I love thought catalog!
There just comes a time when you’re too tired to deal with certain people.
If there’s something about me, it’s that I don’t like to be a hypocrite and I don’t like to be plastic. I try really hard to not be those two things. Call me a bitch or anything else that you want. I’d rather that you hate me for my honesty than you lying to my face and going behind my back. Seriously? I’m better than this. I deserve better. Forgive me for thinking you were better than this too. I have no desire to play pretend. It’s tiring and pointless. This has been going on for way too long and I am tired.
People often change, but sometimes they don’t. You have always been like this. I don’t know why I bothered putting up with you for such a long time.
Hanging on for the sake of the “good times” just isn’t gonna cut it anymore. No matter how much I miss you and even love you isn’t enough anymore. All the hurts outweigh the good times. Sure, nakakapanghinayang, all these memories…. And of course our very relationship.
It’s just not enough.
There are so many other people out there willing to be to me what you were not.
But hey, maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s me.
Living in a world where honesty means next to nothing to most people fucking sucks.
There comes a point in time when nothing makes sense.
Like… when someone loves you then leaves you or when you develop a strange allergy to your favorite food.It’s inevitable for you to think things through; for you to go back and forth wondering when and where in the world things started to go wrong. In the case of being left behind, you don’t really have a choice but to move on or die. As for the allergy, you could take some meds. You can also try to ‘outgrow’ it but it’s risky and you can die. But yeah. You’re gonna die anyway, someday so why prolong the agony?
I guess this is a time when nothing makes sense.
Why the hell am I going on about lost loves and food allergies and death?
I should seriously get a grip. Fuck.
Birthdays stopped being fun for me when I started to realize that there was more to the world than just family, friends and school. I am honestly afraid of growing old, and of growing up. I have a lot of responsibilities as it is. What more in the future? Also, I hate not being in control. I hate how time passes by so fast. I hate how I’ve taken it for granted. Now that I know how quickly it really does pass, I am only more afraid. I dread the time when I will lose everything that I know. I’m afraid to grow old and forget. I’m afraid that my limbs and organs would forget how to work one by one until my heart finally gives way. I am afraid of the inevitable oblivion. But such is life. It is what it is and it won’t change for anyone.
I may be an adult now, but I am the youngest kind. I am afraid and I am vulnerable. I’ve only had a sip of what the real world has to offer and I’m already dreading it.
April 7-8, 2012
I baked Cake Pops! :)
I got the idea from the queen of cake pops, Bakerella. Head on over to her site; she’s amazing.
I made these cake pops because my friend Katrina told me to make some before. I honestly thought these would be easy to make but boy, was it was trickier to do than I thought. At first I had a really difficult time coating them in chocolate, but I got the hang of it as time passed by.
These are triple chocolate cake pops: Devil’s food cake, perfectly chocolate frosting and a milk chocolate coating :)
It’s actually too sweet for my taste… Next time I make cake pops I’d probably go with a dark chocolate frosting or coating. I also want to try making Red Velvet cake pops and cake pops with colored candy melt coatings :)
So apparently karma is real and life hates me and everything can be wonderful and awful at the same time. Apparently this is what it’s like to be on the other side. The dark side. Always wishing, waiting and wanting. Wishing, waiting, wanting and never knowing. It’s awful because no one likes to be left out in the dark and you’re stumbling and falling and you don’t know if you should just pick a direction and run or if you should slowly feel your way out or if you should simply stay put and wait for something to happen. Besides being awful, it’s wonderful. I know i know i know, contradictory right? But this is me so this is nothing new. It’s lovely. It’s wonderful. It’s wonderful simply because it can’t be anything other than that. How else can you describe all these feelings if you don’t use the word wonderful? It feels so lovely to be able to feel. To know that i’m capable of feeling; that I am not as cold as i make myself out to be.
