For the first time in a long time I actually regret doing something and it weighs so heavily on my heart. I made a bad decision knowing it was a bad decision. I had so many chances to not go down that path but I still did. Even as it was happening, I could already feel the beads of regret growing in me but I chose to ignore them.
I was reckless but not impulsive, which is why I find this worse than my usual shenanigans. My recklessness was thought-out and calculated. I knew exactly what I wanted to happen and how I had to be to make that happen.
Maybe I was impulsive at the end. Choosing to leap into this mess I designed. I could have walked away instead.
I should have walked away.