"I know better now that love is never a guarantee. Not when you have the rest of the world to contend with." ————truer words have never been spoken

Lang Leav why huhuhu did you get broken hearted a lot?? :(((((((( the feels huhuhu

*found this on fb and saved it on a whim. Can’t find the original owner of the graphic huhu

"I know better now that love is never a guarantee. Not when you have the rest of the world to contend with." ————truer words have never been spoken

Lang Leav why huhuhu did you get broken hearted a lot?? :(((((((( the feels huhuhu

*found this on fb and saved it on a whim. Can’t find the original owner of the graphic huhu

Maaaaaaan. I’ve been like a rock these past few days. Didn’t even flinch when I saw the pretty notebook you got me from Europe. I even wrote your name inside without feeling sad or anything. I also flipped through the books you got me and even considered wearing the shirt you designed. But, again: MAAAAN. That all changed in a snap. That goddamned Pusheen card totally killed me. I was just talking about being fine yesterday and here I am again now. I wonder why being at home makes ~this~ harder? When I’m alone in my condo I don’t even get this lonely. Is that going to change?

I’ve never been a typically romantic person. I don’t believe in soulmates, I think destiny is hullaballoo and I think people who believe in forever are delusional. I’ve always been the kind of person who believed that love is not enough. The world runs on so much more than love.

This all really, really, really sucks. And it all really, really, really hurts.

Contrary to what I’ve been posting on in here, I am relatively fine. I feel fine, I look fine. I actually AM fine… For the most part. I’ve been really busy with school and stuff that I really can’t afford to let myself mope.

It’s kind of freaking me out how ‘fine’ I am about all this. Am I going to have a late breakdown? Or.. Do I truly understand what happened?
I sure as hell don’t accept it yet, but I really think I understand things better now.

It’s also interesting to me how I haven’t resorted to my vices. Sure, I thought about it for like.. 10 seconds. But then I let it go. Can you believe I stayed in (alone) on a Friday night and watched Iron Man and Iron Man 2 instead of drinking my life away? #Mature? Hahahaha

I have a lot of sad moments throughout the day but they’re usually just flashes and I’m able to move on from them quickly.

What’s hard for me to deal with are the idle moments but even that is cake compared to the moment before sleep.

I hope you’re doing well.


I’m gonna be okay.

I thought Friday night alone was bad, but Saturday is a whole different kind of hell.


Why.

You once asked me, “how do you want to be loved?”

Outwardly, I scoffed. Inside, I was freaking out. “You plan on falling in love with me?”

You rolled your eyes as if saying, “Duh, Angeli, what do you think?”

I told you I just wanted to be seen. You leaned in and reassured me, “I see you” —- and you did. 

Thank you for seeing me. For seeing past the pretensions I put up. For tearing down whatever walls I had and for knowing who I really am. You never gave in to my bullshit, never tolerated my self-pity. You made me feel like I was beautiful everyday because I knew that you understood me better than anyone else and more than anyone ever did. 

All I’m thinking of right now is how we are never going to ride the goddamned Pasig River Ferry.

And that thought is really killing me. It hurts so bad.

Getting your heart broken literally hurts. It hurts everywhere.

If I could go back and choose, I would still pick this path and have my heart broken by you.

Thank you for the love, even if it isn’t meant to last. I am a different person now because of you, and for that I am grateful.

Why is it so easy to say things that hurt?

Will this heal or will this hurt?