This is what would’ve pulled us apart.

Taylor Swift nailed it

"2 am, who do you love?"

I should go and sleep

Fuck this. Seriously.

I can’t even be honest with myself on my blog anymore.

Why am I even talking about how I’m flirting with someone else when all I really want to talk about is how I’m still in love with you? (Actually, I don’t want to talk about it. I feel like moping about it though)

My wishing bracelet from Brazil fell off yesterday. It’s the reason why I talked to you, actually. Wee. First post break-up conversation!

We had a short conversation about salad dressing. Me being me, I told you about my life while you revealed nothing about yours. Not really surprising as you’ve always been like that. I thought it went well. I didn’t feel uneasy at all and I saw a future for us, as friends. My feelings were lying to me, of course. Later on in the night I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope that you would miraculously want to be sociable, come to the gig and talk to me. Which is why finding out that you didn’t want to see me kinda stung more than I previously thought it would. 

It feels so unfair. Why do you get to be the awkward one? You left me. I should be the awkward one. 

I’ve always been a fairly… flirty person. I will admit that. Often, I don’t even really mean anything by it, and I sometimes don’t even realize when I do it but now I’m starting to feel like I’m treading in dangerous waters. I am actively flirting with a friend. And this friend is not the sort of friend I should be messing around with.

"All it’ll take is one mistake", one of my friends told me. I laughed that off, thinking that I would never be in such a situation. But by God. Holy shit. It would be so easy.

You’re about 2km away from me, give or take. I was a street away from your house earlier in the day and it stung a bit more than I thought it would to be in such close proximity to ~you.
Yes, I know you weren’t home but i couldn’t help but think about the past. I was comfortable there, in your world. And now I’m so near you, and yet you’ve never been more far away from me than at this time and day.

I can’t sink or swim
In this ocean between us

I can only drown

We, you and me, feel like a distant memory.

I love being in love, but I hate falling in love. Does that make sense?

I also hate falling out of love. How do you even do that? Stop loving someone?

Would you prefer that I be in tears?

I say, “life goes on”
People look at me in awe
Is this new knowledge?

Why can’t people just be real about how they feel?

What are you even doing? Trying to save face?
All you’ve managed to do is push me further away from you.